Bartending Stories - The Airport
Sometimes you need to know when to shut up.
What seems like a lifetime ago, I unexpectedly ran into someone that would forever be part of my short list of incredible bosses. I wrote “boss” but what I meant was “manager.” He listened and coached.
At this point I had been tending bar in that airport location for 5 years or more. I had seen entire management turn overs several times. The most consistent employees were the bar staff and some of the kitchen. It was the type of place where bar staff outlasted management because of the pay discrepancy. It was a steppingstone management job but a career bartending job. Not dissimilar to many sales companies. But I digress…
This guy came into this General Manager role with next to or maybe even zero restaurant experience. He and I were both fresh out of college. Both of us similar in age; he was light years ahead of me in leadership and management. Having bartended my way through college and understanding the functions of the restaurant industry he leaned on me and a few others to better understand that part of the business. Many of his predecessors came in and changed a lot of processes but didn’t make any positive impacts. They were just shifting things to make it more comfortable for themselves based on previous experiences. He came in and took direction from the people working there and found ways to improve their experiences, which in turn improved the experiences of the customers, and improved both efficiency and profitability.
At the time, I was young and had a decent education. I knew a few things, but I thought I knew everything. I always felt a need to be right, and I may have been a bit of a last word freak. Not a lot has changed, but I am certainly older now and I at least try to be aware of these character defects in my daily life. When this guy entered the role without restaurant experience, I am sure I met him with the least friendly welcoming. He quickly turned me around because of how he sought my opinions and acted on many of my suggestions. He made me feel like I was part of a system. He provided me with personal ownership and even pride in my work environment. He did this while not having changed my job title, pay, or daily responsibilities. He shared with me his challenges, like managing pour cost balance, labor optimization, and product profitability.
He came into the job curious, and asked questions. He listened and learned quickly. I still have an endless amount of appreciation for how he approached those challenges and excelled. My personal respect for him that lingers today comes from a specific interaction.
One day at work I had a disagreement with one of our floor managers. The topic was so insignificant that to this day I can’t remember what it was about. The floor manager was explaining some process or something similar, and it was incorrect. Fundamentally it was wrong somehow, and I knew it and corrected him. We continued to disagree with one another in front of other bar staff and eventually it led to me showing him specifically where he was wrong. I was not graceful about this. I intended to prove my argument, not to embarrass him. I achieved both though and certainly damaged that relationship.
Later that day when I was headed out the door, the GM would pull me aside.
“You’re really smart, but sometimes, you need to know when to shut up.”
The circumstance with the floor manager happened hours before but I knew what he was referencing. He had obviously waited until I was off the clock to discuss it. I immediately went into explaining how I was correct, and the manager was mistaken. Thankfully he cut me off because the memory of me continuing to deflect would be even more embarrassing.
“Ok, so you were right, and he was wrong. I got that. Everybody now gets that. What if though after you corrected him and he came back with a rebuttal, then you just shut up?”
I then acknowledged through a bit of conversation that nothing would have changed.
“Would you have wiped down the same bottles? Would you have cleaned the same bar top? Would you have done the same cash out, with the same tips, and worked the same hours, with the same people? And would it be the same tomorrow with your next shift and the one after?”
Of course, my answers were all, “Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes…”
He’d put the nail in the coffin with this: “And You would still have known that you were “right.” Nothing would have changed for you or anyone else. But now, you corrected that manager in front of people and made him look bad. And now something has changed, your relationship with that person, who at the end of the day has power over you.”
I had nothing I could say. There was no way to deflect or argue.
“You’re very intelligent, but sometimes you just need to shut up.”